Sorry I havn't been posting lately, but I've been SO busy with school, and edits...and trying to keep up with G+...and do my chores too!
Strider: We'll camp on this freaky hill we will.
he walked off looking for mushrooms
Frodo: uh, where are you going?
Strider: To find a mushroom
Sam/Merry/Pippin: Let's roast mushrooms!
Frodo: Good grief
B.R#1: I smell.............mushrooms!
B.R#2: Where's the scent coming from?
B.R#6: That freakin' hill over there?
B.R#1: course, dummy. it's the only hill around. Anyway, can't you smell the mushrooms?!
B.R#6:sniff, smell, yes, now that you mention it, I do.
B.R#1: ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGH! IT'S IMBECILES LIKE YOU THAT MAKE MY JOB DIFFICULT! GET MOVING!
they all headed for the hill and the mushrooms, and started climbing
B.R#1: Kill hobbits
B.R#2: Get Ring
B.R#3: Take Ring to Mordor
B.R#4,5,6,7,8 & 9: WIN WAR!!!!!!!!
They all cheered loudly, which freaked the hobbits no end. They reached the top of the hill, and drew their weapons and cartwheeled over to the hobbits who were cowering in a circle.
Sam: No wonder Strider called this hill freaky. Have a mushroom?
B.R#1: No thanks. We've come here to kill you and take the Ring. We'll take the mushrooms from your dead bodies.
Sam: Oh. I see.
Frodo: AAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHH! They've got dollar-store-plastic-evil-mordor-blades!
Frodo(panting): must................................not..................eat..no..that's wrong...MUST NOT PUT ON RING!
At that moment he stuck the Ring on his finger, and he was able to see the Ringwraiths.
Frodo: Hey! their nothing but guys in long, tattered dressing gowns!
B.R#1(hurt expression visible only to Frodo): No, we are the Nazgul! the apples of Sauron's eye!
Frodo: Reallllllllllllllly? I could have sworn you were Nazgul in dressing gowns, not apples.
he started to pelt Frodo with some mushrooms, then realized his mistake, and stabbed wildly at Frodo, hitting him in the shoulder. There was an ominous 'CRACK!' as B.R#1's dollar-store-plastic-evil-mordor-blade broke, leaving a splinter in Frodo's shoulder.
Frodo: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii !
B.R#1: Darn it. I knew Sauron should have bought the Target brand.
Strider(standing behind B.R#1 with 2 flaming torches):I SEE FIRE! I SEE FIRE INSIDE THE MOUNTAIN! I SEE FIRE BURNING THE TREES! I SEE FIIRE HOLLOWING SOULS! I SEE FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRE BURN IN THE BREEZE!
B.R#1: AAAAAAAAAAAAAiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!! where?!
He turned around and Strider shoved the torch in his face.
B.R#1: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! IT BURNS! I see fiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrreeeeee in my face!
Strider was having the time of his life, catching the other B.RS on fire, while singing "I SEEEEE FIIIIIIREEEEEEEEEE'
Finally, the Ringwraiths ran in fear of the fire and Strider's terrible singing, crying about something about not winning the war, and not getting the mushrooms. Frodo pulled off the Ring and fell to the ground, hugging his shoulder.
Strider: Oh dear me. Oh well, let's get going to Rivendell.
Sam: Will he die?
Strider: That depends on whether or not we get there in time.
Sam: Oh. I see. Have a mushroom?